Comments for Caregivers Blog: Elder Care Resources and Support http://www.caregivers.com Senior living information and support for anyone caring for aging parents, spouses and other loved ones. Tue, 15 May 2012 06:49:01 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 Comment on The Pro’s and Con’s of Being the Jelly in the Sandwich Generation by Christopher Atkinson-Myers http://www.caregivers.com/featured/pros-and-cons-of-sandwich-generation/#comment-550 Christopher Atkinson-Myers Tue, 15 May 2012 06:49:01 +0000 http://www.caregivers.com/?p=1207#comment-550 "Sandwiching" can kill the ability to express affection; I know, because I'm the peanut butter in a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. What do I mean? Well, I'm part of generation two in a four-generation family "sandwich". I worry almost constantly about my 89 year old mom, and my children, with young children themselves, worry almost constantly about me! When my mother is stressed, I go into crisis, and when I go into crisis, my children are terribly stressed about me. Pretty soon, everyone except the universally adored "littles", is under so much pressure that it's difficult to express loving concern without being, or at least seeming, controlling. The elder generation won't accept advice and/or help from the younger and vice-versa. It's a no win situation, and soon, everyone is too exasperated to hug, let alone kiss. There's got to be a better way! “Sandwiching” can kill the ability to express affection; I know, because I’m the peanut butter in a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. What do I mean? Well, I’m part of generation two in a four-generation family “sandwich”. I worry almost constantly about my 89 year old mom, and my children, with young children themselves, worry almost constantly about me! When my mother is stressed, I go into crisis, and when I go into crisis, my children are terribly stressed about me. Pretty soon, everyone except the universally adored “littles”, is under so much pressure that it’s difficult to express loving concern without being, or at least seeming, controlling. The elder generation won’t accept advice and/or help from the younger and vice-versa. It’s a no win situation, and soon, everyone is too exasperated to hug, let alone kiss. There’s got to be a better way!

]]> Comment on Top 3 Legal Documents that Caregivers and Seniors Need by Lisa Andrews http://www.caregivers.com/elder-law/top-3-legal-documents-that-caregivers-and-seniors-need/#comment-534 Lisa Andrews Fri, 11 May 2012 12:26:45 +0000 http://www.caregivers.com/?p=889#comment-534 I have an elderly aunt with no spouse or children of her own. she has a will and a power of attorney for medical. She really needs to get a beneficiary deed on her house but doesn't think she needs this. Her will lists all seven of her nieces and nephews. I don't want a big hassle down the road trying to sell her house and needing all seven to agree and sign the paperwork. Can we get this online or on the CD such as Quicken one you mentioned? I have an elderly aunt with no spouse or children of her own. she has a will and a power of attorney for medical. She really needs to get a beneficiary deed on her house but doesn’t think she needs this. Her will lists all seven of her nieces and nephews. I don’t want a big hassle down the road trying to sell her house and needing all seven to agree and sign the paperwork.
Can we get this online or on the CD such as Quicken one you mentioned?

]]> Comment on Betty White’s Playing Pranks on the Younger Generation by Rick willis http://www.caregivers.com/featured/betty-whites-playing-pranks-on-the-younger-generation/#comment-530 Rick willis Thu, 10 May 2012 23:35:56 +0000 http://www.caregivers.com/?p=1220#comment-530 Hello to you.Yes I do watch the Betty White show ea wk and to me it is funny but, so true and I do love the show alot.I hope it is on for yrs.Even tho Betty is 90 later on in life when she has passed hopefully not for along time.But, to me it is GREAT.My mother is in a really good pl in Westerville,Ohio.The Best I have ever found in Ohio.It is very pricey and after you have use all your assets.My question is what do you do then. This is all pvt pay.I know you have to go to medicade.Where in Columbus,Ohio.a good one.Any of the ones I have seen is not that nice at all.But, unless you have tons of money a millionare plus and you live a long live what do you do then.To me that is a real problem in Ohio.Do you have any answers? sincerely, Rick Willis Hello to you.Yes I do watch the Betty White show ea wk and to me it is funny but, so true and I do love the show alot.I hope it is on for yrs.Even tho Betty is 90 later on in life when she has passed hopefully not for along time.But, to me it is GREAT.My mother is in a really good pl in Westerville,Ohio.The Best I have ever found in Ohio.It is very pricey and after you have use all your assets.My question is what do you do then. This is all pvt pay.I know you have to go to medicade.Where in Columbus,Ohio.a good one.Any of the ones I have seen is not that nice at all.But, unless you have tons of money a millionare plus and you live a long live what do you do then.To me that is a real problem in Ohio.Do you have any answers?

sincerely,
Rick Willis

]]> Comment on The Cycle of Life: From Daycare to Adult Daycare by DanaLarsen http://www.caregivers.com/adult-daycare/the-cycle-of-life-daycare-to-adult-daycare/#comment-528 DanaLarsen Thu, 10 May 2012 16:00:40 +0000 http://www.caregivers.com/?p=669#comment-528 I agree, Vicky! That's great advice! I agree, Vicky! That’s great advice!

]]> Comment on The Cycle of Life: From Daycare to Adult Daycare by Vicky http://www.caregivers.com/adult-daycare/the-cycle-of-life-daycare-to-adult-daycare/#comment-527 Vicky Thu, 10 May 2012 04:12:19 +0000 http://www.caregivers.com/?p=669#comment-527 Lynne; I felt compelled to respond, I am 56 and was a Program Director for an Adult Day Care run by our municipality, unfortunately budget cuts required the closing of the program which sadly impacted many clients and their families in addition to the displaced workers myself included. On unemployment I decided to return to college and finish my degree I am almost there. My point is I didn't think at my age I had the capacity to study again but if you want something bad enough anything is possible. What about volunteering in a center, rather than dwelling on the what if's assist someone who truly needs help. I believe if you fill your days, there will be no time to worry. Worrying only creates wrinkles it does absolutely nothing to change your life, take control of your own destiny and fill your days with people and places that provide you pleasure. Good luck Vicky Lynne;
I felt compelled to respond, I am 56 and was a Program Director for an Adult Day Care run by our municipality, unfortunately budget cuts required the closing of the program which sadly impacted many clients and their families in addition to the displaced workers myself included. On unemployment I decided to return to college and finish my degree I am almost there. My point is I didn’t think at my age I had the capacity to study again but if you want something bad enough anything is possible. What about volunteering in a center, rather than dwelling on the what if’s assist someone who truly needs help. I believe if you fill your days, there will be no time to worry. Worrying only creates wrinkles it does absolutely nothing to change your life, take control of your own destiny and fill your days with people and places that provide you pleasure. Good luck Vicky

]]> Comment on Memory Care: Where to Start by James Carter http://www.caregivers.com/dementia-and-alzheimers/memory-care-where-to-start/#comment-526 James Carter Thu, 10 May 2012 01:21:26 +0000 http://www.caregivers.com/?p=1336#comment-526 My wife has Dementia. I found a nice place for her care, that specializes in assisted living and memory care. They take good care of her and give her help when she needs it. She still walks with a walker but finds it difficult to keep from being lost, but always knows the place to go for help. I helped her as long as I could but had to get help. My children all helped in finding her a place to live. All her family knew that she needed help and were very supportive and that really means a lot. My wife has Dementia. I found a nice place for her care, that specializes in
assisted living and memory care. They take
good care of her and give her help when she needs it. She still walks with a walker but finds it difficult to keep
from being lost, but always knows the place to go for help. I helped her as long as I could but had to get help. My children all helped in finding her a place to
live. All her family knew that she needed help and were very supportive and that
really means a lot.

]]> Comment on Should Caregiving Be Tax Deductible? by Barbara Carter Jones http://www.caregivers.com/featured/caregiving-tax-deductible/#comment-525 Barbara Carter Jones Thu, 10 May 2012 00:14:00 +0000 http://caregivers.com/?p=293#comment-525 As a caregiver for my mother,I can't begin to tell you of the experiences that I have endured in d care 24/7 and I was virtually the only one to care for her. Recently,I discovered that the state od MD. has an innovative program for seniors who are disabled and they cetify and register others to come in to help you care for your loved ones.You must contract with them as you would any other hireling but the state both trains and certifies the workers and they have been a God's sent gift for their loveing care,compassion, and time spent in taking care of your loved one's needs while giving you some precious time to yourself to take care if those many things that you must neglect in order to care for your loved one.In addition,there is a great savings of money spent on the care which can be extraordinarily expensive.You also have the opportunity to keep your loved one at home where you can monitor the care they are receiving.There are many beneficial reaons for using this option but the salvation of your sanity andhealth would be payment enough for the money that you would have to spend.I hope this suggestion is of some use to you.Please feel free to email me back if you feel that I can be of any assistance.I have been there so I know how you are suffering and drowing in guilt and frustration.This may not solve all problems but it will help to take the edge off.May God's richest blessings shine on you and yours.My prayers are with you. As a caregiver for my mother,I can’t begin to tell you of the experiences that I have endured in d care 24/7 and I was virtually the only one to care for her. Recently,I discovered that the state od MD. has an innovative program for seniors who are disabled and they cetify and register others to come in to help you care for your loved ones.You must contract with them as you would any other hireling but the state both trains and certifies the workers and they have been a God’s sent gift for their loveing care,compassion, and time spent in taking care of your loved one’s needs while giving you some precious time to yourself to take care if those many things that you must neglect in order to care for your loved one.In addition,there is a great savings of money spent on the care which can be extraordinarily expensive.You also have the opportunity to keep your loved one at home where you can monitor the care they are receiving.There are many beneficial reaons for using this option but the salvation of your sanity andhealth would be payment enough for the money that you would have to spend.I hope this suggestion is of some use to you.Please feel free to email me back if you feel that I can be of any assistance.I have been there so I know how you are suffering and drowing in guilt and frustration.This may not solve all problems but it will help to take the edge off.May God’s richest blessings shine on you and yours.My prayers are with you.

]]> Comment on Memory Care: Where to Start by Kathy http://www.caregivers.com/dementia-and-alzheimers/memory-care-where-to-start/#comment-523 Kathy Wed, 09 May 2012 21:34:58 +0000 http://www.caregivers.com/?p=1336#comment-523 After my father died, my siblings and I were shocked to find out that mom had dementia that my dad had kept from us kids. She was verbally good, but after spending more time with her I noticed her stories and reasons for not doing things just didn't make sense. So after a couple of months I took her to a neurologist and had mom diagnosed. Because mom didn't want to leave her home, I kept her there four and half hears. I managed her home as well as mine and husbands I found private caregivers to live with her, I also hired Senior helpers so her helper she lived with go get out a couple of days a week. But even with all that. Legal actions were taken so I could manage her finances and health issues, and I needed to be there to monitor her care about 3-5 days a week so I knew all was well. But after 4 & 1/2 years I knew it was time to find her a better surrounding with people who knew exactly what things were needed for her abilities and overall care. It was tough on her and the whole family at first. But frankly as her dementia progressed, we knew we were no longer qualified to help her and, above all, to keep her safe. Since I'd been investigating off & and knew what she needed and what she liked, a friend of mine suggested a smaller, quieter clean Alzhimers Assisted Living called Addington Place. It's a clean & homey with mainly private rooms, which fortunately mom has one. The attendents are all friendly and fun and look after all the residents with care. It did, however, take Mom 4-5 weeks to adjust to her new home, but now, she's thriving and happy and most importantly feels safe and secure, and has made a couple of friends too. They're taken on supervised outtings, this week is a dance, and have fun activities every day. They keep their minds active as much as they can, and treat them as adults, which is so important for their self-esteem. My mother has a bad case of sundowners, and the staff knows exactly how to handle it and keep her calm. Our family is very glad we found an an Assisted living specifically designed for Dementia/Alheimers patients, and that we put her there.Not only is she thriving better than I've ever seen recently. It's great for mom and a life-saver to me, to know that she's being so well taken care of - honestly better than I ever did. My advise is to be pro-active and start searching now, if you see that your loved one is going to need more stuctured and professional care in the forseeible future. It's what I did, and am extremely glad I went down that road. After my father died, my siblings and I were shocked to find out that mom had dementia that my dad had kept from us kids. She was verbally good, but after spending more time with her I noticed her stories and reasons for not doing things just didn’t make sense. So after a couple of months I took her to a neurologist and had mom diagnosed. Because mom didn’t want to leave her home, I kept her there four and half hears. I managed her home as well as mine and husbands I found private caregivers to live with her, I also hired Senior helpers so her helper she lived with go get out a couple of days a week. But even with all that. Legal actions were taken so I could manage her finances and health issues, and I needed to be there to monitor her care about 3-5 days a week so I knew all was well. But after 4 & 1/2 years I knew it was time to find her a better surrounding with people who knew exactly what things were needed for her abilities and overall care. It was tough on her and the whole family at first. But frankly as her dementia progressed, we knew we were no longer qualified to help her and, above all, to keep her safe. Since I’d been investigating off & and knew what she needed and what she liked, a friend of mine suggested a smaller, quieter clean Alzhimers Assisted Living called Addington Place. It’s a clean & homey with mainly private rooms, which fortunately mom has one. The attendents are all friendly and fun and look after all the residents with care. It did, however, take Mom 4-5 weeks to adjust to her new home, but now, she’s thriving and happy and most importantly feels safe and secure, and has made a couple of friends too. They’re taken on supervised outtings, this week is a dance, and have fun activities every day. They keep their minds active as much as they can, and treat them as adults, which is so important for their self-esteem. My mother has a bad case of sundowners, and the staff knows exactly how to handle it and keep her calm. Our family is very glad we found an an Assisted living specifically designed for Dementia/Alheimers patients, and that we put her there.Not only is she thriving better than I’ve ever seen recently. It’s great for mom and a life-saver to me, to know that she’s being so well taken care of – honestly better than I ever did. My advise is to be pro-active and start searching now, if you see that your loved one is going to need more stuctured and professional care in the forseeible future. It’s what I did, and am extremely glad I went down that road.

]]> Comment on 6 Ideas to Quell the Stress of Caregiving ~ (bubble bath not included) by caregivers: 9 ways to get your happy on http://www.caregivers.com/caregiver-wellness/6-ideas-to-quell-the-stress-of-caregiving-bubble-bath-not-included/#comment-521 caregivers: 9 ways to get your happy on Tue, 08 May 2012 20:36:31 +0000 http://www.caregivers.com/?p=567#comment-521 [...] P.S. If this list is totally annoying in it’s jubilance, I get it. Try this out:  6 Ideas to Quell the Stress of Caregiving ~ bubble bath not included. [...] [...] P.S. If this list is totally annoying in it’s jubilance, I get it. Try this out:  6 Ideas to Quell the Stress of Caregiving ~ bubble bath not included. [...]

]]> Comment on Alzheimer’s Disease: Providing Comfort, Whatever It Takes by Ann Napoletan http://www.caregivers.com/assisted-living/alzheimers-disease-comfort/#comment-518 Ann Napoletan Sun, 06 May 2012 02:16:14 +0000 http://www.caregivers.com/?p=1296#comment-518 I've seen some *amazing* stories about music and ALZ patients. Incredible the effect that it can have on them. Another wonderfully easy thing to incorporate into daily life. I’ve seen some *amazing* stories about music and ALZ patients. Incredible the effect that it can have on them. Another wonderfully easy thing to incorporate into daily life.

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